Never Say "Never"

How did I get here? I used to say I'd never get involved with a married man! How did it happen? Why didn't I think first before jumping into things? How could I have been so foolish?

I used to judge people all the time. I used to say that I'd NEVER get involved with a married man, as if I were some "holier than thou" person--as if women who did this were weak, inferior and immoral. I judged the women. I judged because society judges. Yet no one talks much about the man who is stepping out on his wife...

I learned real quick to bite my tongue when it came to judging people's situations when I completely fell for my married man (MM). This is my journey. It has been seven years. It has been a long seven years of pain, suffering, lonliness, heartache, guilt, feeling ashamed, condemned, broken-hearted, desperate, yet longing and hoping and praying that he'd leave his wife.

Well, guess what, world? He's still there with her! Seven years, not months! Seven years--count them! One-two-three-four-five-six-seven! And I'm still here, hanging on to some hope that he'll leave his marriage and we can start a life together...But even that is a lie, as that is not what I feel inside; only what I say to the few that I've chosen to confide in.

This is my journey. I write in order to educate--to give the world an idea of what it's like to be "the other woman." What it's like to be a functioning person in this world who seems so normal in all other ways, what it's like to experience the emotions of disappointments, the constant waiting and longing and emotional rollercoaster of a ride in this journey.

I write to assist: to assist other women who may be contemplating whether to get involved in this type of affair; to assist the wives who know deep down inside that their husbands are cheating on them; to assist the men who choose this life yet don't consider the consequences of their behaviors; to assist the children of families affected by a life of lies and deception; and to assist me in getting out, in gaining strength in knowing that my words will serve as my counselor, my comforter, my enabler to motivate me to take action and leave.

Welcome to my blog.